Comments on: HOWTO: Kill your cat

By: tmont007

tmont007 — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 01:20:24 +0000

Jack, I would have been a vapor trail if I had gone through that crap when my wife and I were courting/ setting up housekeeping. As it is, we agreed that cats were not an option. In fact, no pets outside of the box turtle she had for 15 years prior. Then we bought a big house on a secluded lot. With that came mice. A cat seemed like a viable option, only as an exterminator. That went well for a while, then he went mental. Literally, I think he had a stroke. He can’t focus, or walk straight, the vet wanted tons of dough to figure it out. So, we figure we will just let him live out his life, useless as he is. But at least he doesn’t claw up the furniture anymore, and he still uses his poop box, so he isn’t much of a problem. But we got another one to do the mousing job. This one is a mess. He jumps into the bed to sleep with us at night, regardless of how far I chuck him, he keeps coming back, He ” makes biscuits” on my wife’s garments, which makes me want to flush him down the toilet. He vomits everywhere.
My idea for killing that cat is no where near humane. But I bet it would be fun. Put him in a small wooden keg, pound 8 penny nails through the sides and top, and roll it down our long, steep driveway. If I didn’t understand that if my wife and daughter found out what I did, it would be curtains for me, I would already have done it.
As it stands… I’m waiting him out. Eventually my wife will get tired of him puking on her nice rugs and stuff, and will ask me to deal with him. I will daydream about the wooden keg. But most likely he will be taken ” to a nice farm family out in the country”.

By: jack33nyus

jack33nyus — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 16:23:00 +0000

Bigbadbry and oldraj51, I have the same problem but with my fiance. She has these 2 cats, which do nothing but destroy the house. From clawing the screens on our windows, to destroying furniture to shitting on our bed and in the sink, to getting car hair and kitty litter everywhere and stinking up the house, to costing extra money we don’t have and occasionally trying to claw and and bite our little 1 year old daughter. These cats are a nuisance and she ALWAYS defends them! Even to the point where I’ve said it’s me or them and she says ok bye. Seriously, I think she would screw the cats over me if she has a chance. I’m at my wit’s end and ready to call the relationship quits because of these damn felines!

By: oldraj51

oldraj51 — Fri, 20 May 2011 23:40:58 +0000

i hate my wifes cats, one of them just clawed her in the face today giving her a huge gash, she defended the cat saying it was an accident. I’m gonna slam its head in the door and say that was an accident as well. cats suck.

By: Bigbadbry

Bigbadbry — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 15:49:24 +0000

I have 3 of these little shit machine bastards all they do is eat shit and destroy my house , but the wife refuses to get rid till they part with this world naturaly , does anyone know a quick way of speeding up the natural process ?

By: lolife

lolife — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:48:39 +0000

Duh, I totally forgot #6: Poison. This could be a tricky one, though, and it wouldn’t be high on my list.

By: Mike Phenow

Mike Phenow — Mon, 05 May 2008 22:03:40 +0000

Either shoot it or just let it go feral. A well-placed shot with the proper firearm is quick, painless, and humane, not to mention cheap. Letting it go feral may be a bit of a crap shoot, as it may thrive or struggle, depending on its fortune. If it doesn’t seem to get along with anybody anyway, maybe it would be most happy in the wild, and if you believe Alan Weisman in The World Without Us, house cats would do very well (maybe too well) in the wild.

By: brad

brad — Sat, 03 May 2008 16:39:19 +0000

Dude?
I’ll kill your cat. 5 gallon pail of water, bathroom plunger, see how quickly it can evolve gills.