Tag Archives: Sex

don't talk about sex

There is a weird disconnect going on. I love weird disconnects because they are saying something. I don’t know what this one is saying.

We all like sex. Our culture is permeated with sex. And yet we never talk about sex in a real way. We joke about it and we might share a few details with our best friend. But we never really talk about it. It’s off the table. I wonder why that is. How often do you and your partner have sex? What’s your approach to masturbation? Do you like oral sex? Do you swallow? Anal? Do you like to dress up? Or role play? Do you trim or shave your privates? What’s your favorite position(s)? How about a play-by-play of the last really great sex you’ve had?

All of these topics are off limits. We can all answer those questions. There are interesting thoughts that are associated with those sorts of topics. We could learn from each other, learn about each other and understand better this very weird overlay of sexuality that is a major part of the human story.

Some of you maybe think I’m some sort of a perv already because I broach these topics. Even though most of us are sexually active people, admitting that you take an interest in sex can be perceived negatively. In the wrong context, talking about even the most normal sexual acts can get you fired or sued.

Why is this?

I think there are interesting sexual topics that are under-discussed because of this weird disconnect. I’m not just talking about the sorts of preferential questions I mentioned above. Sex is deeply hardwired into our conscious and unconscious behavior and it is fascinating. But please don’t talk about it.

Sex blogging

I recently added I guess what you would call a sex blog to my Google Reader. I’m as obsessed with sex as most men but I haven’t spent much time reading sex writing or sex blogs. This one has been pretty entertaining, though. It’s called Reverse Cowgirl by writer Susannah Breslin and a friend sent me the link because of a great interview with a Flickr photographer I like — Merkley???.

It’s NSFW most of the time and she talks about the sex industry in a very frank way. She is one of the porn-friendly feminists out there. As someone who thinks people looking at naked people is about the most natural thing in the world, it is kind of refreshing to read.

I would probably write about sex if I wasn’t so paranoid about my readers who are professional colleagues or family members…